I've spent today battling with Mercury in Retrograde, communication and technical issues etc etc..... so thinking back to a time not so many weeks ago when I was training everyday in the flamenco routine and enjoying Barcelona has been easy.
Today I've been writing a press release to push coverage of the workshops and doing bits of facebook page updating with photos of the shoot etc.
Tomorrow I'll crack on with editing the actual live action footage of the performance last week. I've been putting this off slightly out of fear that its going to be awful, but there are loads of things I can do with the other practice footage I've got as well and I've got loads of idea about what work can be done in the workshops to go towards the exhibition / celebration day.
In quite a reflective mood today, thinking about the amount of things I've learned, not only about flamenco and the process of learning that, but also its been so revealing about the obstacles I put in front of myself as a barrier to progress.
Essentially, on reflection, I can't do everything and this project is a mammoth task for one person to take on alone. Also, I now respect and face up to the fact that I can't be producer and artist at the same time.
I feel as though I sabotaged my performance the other week by not letting go of the film production aspects of it and I look unwell and tired on the photos from the shoot.
That said, at least I have learnt this now. These are valuable, if difficult things to realise, admit and attempt to confront because its about how I change my practice from this point on.
One change is this: I will stop work now, earlier than usual to enable myself to have time for me and recover from the exhaustion that has set in over the last week. Small changes are good and come at the right time.
So I'm moving forward in this at least. Not falling back, as the planetary system could potentially try to make me do right now. given the current position of good old Mercury.
Change is hard, but good, and as much as it is trying, retrograde for me, right now, is not in the stars.