Unsure about what this post is called....

Today was a tough day because firstly I practiced the new marcages moves from yesterday, trying my best to perfect them before the lesson, and then in the lesson there was another new move involving tacon planta and golpe stamps to an 'el paso' rhythm.

This was so hard to get my head around, as it needs to be fast to go in time with the music and I can barely do it slowly as my head seems to be elsewhere with all of the other arrangements for filming to make, meeting film-makers and also am I going to perform this piece in front of an audience or alone? My head needs space to think about all of this and time is short.

Essentially for this move, at times Toni said my stamping technique was good but then other times, not so good, as at times the golpes and planta's weren't strong enough, and then my timing would be out and then I would just forget the step. I needed to relax. Control my body, putting all the weight in the abdomen, but not be so tense. How do I shake away this tenseness though?

Its a lot to take in. But I am feeling like I've taken huge steps, so to speak, since last week. Having the basics as the foundation for this choreography and practicing intensely has been good for speeding up the process.

I think this says loads about the learning process when we're older. Young people learn without any inhibitions or any strategy in a way. As an 'older' learner, I tend to have to be more methodical about how I get from A to B.

After the class, I went along to my friend's practice space and actually felt so much more confident in myself practicing in front of people. I realised that this is a good thing that people are around, so that I can shake off that ego and shyness. A dramatic shift in what I was feeling last week.

So now I'm here, blogging away and need to mention that this is really an amazing process and experience. Flamenco is very in the moment. I'm unsure yet as to what the outcome will be, but, as with the dance itself, I need to stay in the moment and focus on the here and now and the priorities.

And at this moment, with what feels like a storm in the air, I need to figure out a way of shaking the sore throat that I can feel coming on. Nothing can get in my way of learning this dance now, surely?

This project has been supported using public funding by Arts Council England